The different variations of Weed Bro can be found here.Weed Bro, often abbreviated as Bro or the Bro is a cool guy who lives on the Cyber. His actual name is currently unknown, but it is assumed that it is either Kareem, Bishr, Farid, Not Guilty or Hazim. He is rumored to have an alter ego , Noah Muulgeta. He is most famous for being one of the seven sages of the Church of the Dank as well for being the titular character and main star of The Adventures of Weed Bro and Friends, a decentralized community-produced webcomic to which this wikia is dedicated. He is primarily characterized by an affinity for prohibited psychiatric substances, his revolutionary use of the English language, his unbelievably good sense of his humor, and his eccentric family life. Additionally, some of Weed Bro's associates, who star in other similar productions to The Adventures of Weed Bro and Friends, and are also set in on the Cyber, have been known on at least one occasion to compel a teacher to suddenly resign without explanation. This has led to /r/ComedyCemetery, a Weed Bro hate subreddit on Reddit (it's like 9Gag but without quality memes) to sarcastically use the phrase TEACHER RESIGNED in various circumstances. Occasionally, Weed Bro can be seen wearing a red hat, and sometimes can have hair. Weed Bro is known to harbor immense respect for Tim Berners-Lee, due to his role in inventing the internet. Weed Bro does not know the location of Mt. Everest, and was therefore forced to stand on a desk at his school as a child. Weed Bro theorist /u/WTFMyMang used this unusual punishment as supporting evidence of the Weed Bro being of Indian nationality theory, which has become widely accepted among scholars.
Due to his immense popularity, Weed Bro has been the subject of several documentaries, including Weed Bro: Before the Blunt, a ten-part film series exploring Weed Bro's life before he gained world fame through his most popular webseries, The Adventures of Weed Bro and Friends. Despite what the name might suggest, Weed Bro was already an avid marijuana user prior to debuting in his trademark production.
Weed Bro has a soft side that he rarely shows in his attempt to appear as the cool guy. He was once so moved after hearing a touching story that he began to cry, something he usually causes others to do. This can help you, reader, remember that even your heroes are just people, even if they can talk with God or murder a lion. However, he does not appear to care much for the well-being of his friends.
Weed Bro has very little, if any, respect for the Constitution's protections against cruel and unusual punishment, as shown in his support of scientific and medical experimentation on criminals in place of animals.
Also, he appears to practice Zoroastrianism, as indicated by the fact that he's dating, or has dated, his own sister, who was confirmed to be Tina. So, Weedbro practices incest.
Early Life Edit
As is the case with most Meme Masters, little is known of Weed Bro's early days, however it has been revealed that during the fertilization that led to Weed Bro's conception he, as a sperm, managed to trick all of his unborn siblings into running away from the egg cells through a carefully-crafted lie that Weed Bro's father was actually having Weed Bro's mother perform fellatio on him during the sexual intercourse.
This, as would soon become clear, was just an early display of the profound trolling ability of the Weed Bro.
During Weed Bro's childhood, he had claimed to have done a variety of mundane activities which he took pride in, such as pretending that his ruler was a sword, hiding in cupboards, and so on.
Weed Bro apparently was abused and viciously punished by his father for not completing his homework. This early and presumably current abuse, as well as multiple shoe-throwings by his mother, have caused Bro to suffer from mild PTSD, avoiding shoes and belts, especially ones of leather variety.
Throughout school, Weed Bro, like his brother Sarcastic Bro, frequently caused the resignation of countless teachers due to his trolling "like boss", which, as noted above, has led to the phrase "TEACHER RESIGNED" being used by various Weed Bro HATE subreddits such as /r/ComedyCemetery in an attempt to tarnish his reputation.
Weed Bro has recently been revealed to be a person who is easily driven to suicide, as seen in one comic where he puts an M1911 pistol to each temple because his ex-girlfriend made a baffling and rather confusing comment. This opens up discussion as to whether Weed Bro is suicidal, or if he suffers from a mental disability such as depression or schizophrenia. New information is currently being researched and evaluated by meme scholars and historians.
Weed Bro learned English through Cartoon Network and HBO.
Not much is known about Weed Bro's family. His father appears occasionally, such as the time when allowing Bro's marriage to go ahead, or the time when he was viciously beaten by his wife for having had an romantic relationships prior to having met her. He is also an alleged terrorist.
Weed Bro's mother, on the other hand, has appeared somewhat more often, although she is still very rarely seen. She is known to be extremely emotionally and physically abusive to both Weed Bro and his father; in the former's case, she once threw a shoe at Weed Bro for having asked if he could date someone he liked, although he was able to escape through his ability to run up to 120km per hour, and in the latter's case, she once beat Weed Bro's father for having acknowledged having had sexual relationships prior to having met her.
Relationship with Tina Edit
Weed Bro has an on-and-off relationship with a woman named Tina, who appears to share Weed Bro's love of marijuana given that her eyes are always red, just like Weed Bro's.
It seemed that Weed Bro was blackmailing Tina into staying with him, as he threatened to reveal to her family that she had a boyfriend if she broke up with him. To add injury to insult, Weed Bro seems to think quite negatively of Tina, given that he constantly trolls her. Additionally, their relationship was only formed when Weed Bro tricked Tina into breaking up with her boyfriend by claiming he had 5 million dollars. It was later clarified that this was GTA money, much to Tina's dismay, who declared that Weed Bro had "screwed my life".
On May 23, 2017, Tina decided to break up with Weed Bro, as she revealed that she was cheating on him with a 'better man' (possibly his brother, Sarcastic Bro.) However, when she asked for any pictures of her to be returned to her possession, Weed Bro revealed that he also was cheating on Tina, as he mailed her roughly 25 to 30 images of different girls, stating that he forgot which pictures were of her. Also, Weed Bro is not a fan of her cooking.
His sexual relationship with her is quite open, as he feels comfortable enough to crossdress as a nurse. Also, Tina seems to like roleplay. She asks him his fantasy, and they meet in her bedroom. They both dress as a sexualized nurse, with seemingly no reaction from Tina.
Prior to their relationship, she had another boyfriend. It seems Weed Bro and Tina had sexual relationships even before they began to date. Tina seems to cheat on all of her boyfriends, and Weed Bro doesn't seem to mind.
Weed Bro also openly lusts after other women, such as Emma Watson, and an unnamed Russian policewoman. Tina's opinion of Weed Bro's crushes is unknown.
On 21 June 2017, Weed Bro broke up with Tina after playing a ruse on her, to test her loyalty. Bro posed as a friend of his online and made advances on Tina:
"That was not my friend. i was checking your loyality making a fake id of my friend Get the hell out of my life!"
– Weed Bro, sic erat scriptumIn an alternate universe, Weed Bro and Tina are Jedi. Weed Bro announces that he loves her, while in the midst of a lightsaber battle, but Tina responds by stating that she views him as a non-romantic friend. Weed Bro responds by pushing her into the path of wild beast.
Personal Views Edit
Weed Bro holds many controversial views on society and drugs, and, aside from being an avid user of marijuana, is a declared supporter of experimentation on criminals.
Weed Bro has a strong dislike of math teachers, as he expressed anger about only getting half credit for not using the correct method of an equation despite getting the answer right, failing his exam and possibly his class, likely preventing him from getting a high paying job. This may have led to depression, which may in turn have led to his marijuana addiction. However, this didn't prevent him from becoming CEO of World Bank, but as Reddit Weed Bro theorist /u/Smoppet has stated, it would have made his job lot more strenuous.
It is also known that Weed Bro is a fan of Clash of Clans, which is quite popular in India. Despite generally being opposed to animal abuse, he has lost a dog purposely on at least one occasion to make a brilliant joke.
Weed Bro famously became the CEO of World Bank while he was engaged to Bill Gates' daughter (it is unclear which of Gates' daughters was his fiancée, or whether this came before, after, or during his relationship with Tina), in a savvy business move that satisfied his Weed Bro's Father, Bill Gates, and the President of World Bank. As Weed Bro himself described the endeavor, "THIS IS BUSINESS !!"
Currently, Weed Bro is employed as a police officer and inspector for an unknown city located somewhere in Cybernetic India. Even in the line of duty, Weed Bro's ruses know no bounds, and Weed Bro has continued SAVAGELY trolling while on the job, staying true to his status as a sage of the Church of the Dank, and even, on occasion, trolling the police.
It is known that Weed Bro is in contact with dangerous snipers, and is the son of an anger-prone ex-teacher and an international terrorist. Due to his upbringing, it is probable he became addicted to weed and joined the Underworld.
It is very amazing that despite his schooling years being a complete disaster, Weed Bro has had such an impressive resume.
Weed Bro's Feats Edit
Weed Bro temporarily owned the World Bank. Alongside this, he is good friends with Roger the Sniper, for unknown reasons. He also has caused countless resignations of teachers. He is so clever, in fact, that he is able to completely reverse an attempted mugging. Also, due to the fact that he is still alive, Weed Bro has probably killed a lion. Weed Bro has assaulted a child with a coconut.
In one comic, it is implied that Weed Bro's kisses have some sort of healing power, as he manages to heal Tina's injured hand. Also, Weed Bro has survived a lion attack.
Attempted Suicide Edit
After discovering that Tina considered her Facebook picture to be too old despite having been taken a mere three hours ago, Weedbro was overcome by the utter futility of life. Humanity had become nothing more than consumerist cockroaches, gluttonous creatures that ate and consumed and wasted in the perpetual and futile task of distracting themselves from the all-consuming maw of death. Weed Bro proceeded to use two Desert Eagle fifty calibre pistols on himself; however, it appears that Weed Bro eventually decided against killing himself. He then proceeded to engage in a hedonistic crime spree, culminating in the mugging of US President Donald J. Trump.
Weed Bro's Downfall and Arrest Edit
In his later life, Weed Bro's life took a turn for the worse - he has suffered numerous alcohol induced mental break downs, committed unspeakable acts of violence in S.C.H.O.O.L. (Including donating 5 litres of petroleum to burning a school and Robbing a bank) He has had multiple break-ups with Tina, witnessed the death of An Ambulance, and has had a lackluster sex life - and finally gave in to his insanity. Long and long struggles went on for nights and night, when one fateful night, Weed Bro has decided he had enough of this madness. He must confess for his sins and must receive proper judgment. Finally, after months of hiding from police, he walked into the station of the Russian police force himself, and gave himself up.
He was arrested for a second time in June 2017 after reporting that some people had died. Unfortunately for him, he was actually in a graveyard and was imprisoned for wasting police time.
Fortunately for Weed Bro, he was able to use the Not Guilty legal loophole to escape any judical punishment.
Murdering Tina Edit
Having been freed from prison, Proceeded to murder tina by attacking her with a motorcycle. However, He was not prosecuted as he was able to convince the judge that it had been merely an accident (He would still be able to use the Not Guilty loophole had he been indicted)
After killing tina, He realized SINGLE stood for Stress Is Now Gone, Life Is Easier. Even though this would actually spell out SINGLIE.
Artist Rendition Of Weedbro EditIf Weed Bro were more realistic, he could look like this. ----->
- ↑ https://www.reddit.com/r/ComedyCemetery/comments/68rbgj/weed_bro_being_a_savage/
- ↑ https://www.reddit.com/r/ComedyCemetery/comments/6uoccp/yeah_im_s_i_n_g_l_i_e/
- Weed Bro was once the CEO of World Bank.
- Weed Bro may or may not become blind after a picture on the internet surfaced of him with his eyes closed.
- Weed Bro can run up to 120 kilometers per hour when threatened
- Weed Bro has a strong dislike of the letter K.
- Weed Bro is half owl and can rotate his neck 180 degrees.
- Weed Bro is a crafty ruse man as displayed in his elaborate practical joke on Tina when he said he loved YouTube, but he delayed enunciating the final four letters of the word so as to troll her into laboring under the misapprehension that he was confession his infatuation with her.
- After his (maybe half-) brother Sarcastic Bro admits his real name (Abdul Khan Mohammad) it's likely that Weed Bro's surname is also Mohammad.
- Weed Bro possesses extensive knowledge on Einstein's theories, even to the point where he knows about the "No study = Fail" theorem that Einstein never published.
- Weed Bro has saved the world as a jpg
- Weed Bro can't swim.
- Weed Bro is able to fluently speak Finnish.
- He and his dad can also fluently speak Arabic.
- Weed Bro has the alter ego of Noah Mulugeta.
- He also has the alias of High Dude.
- His real name may be Noah Mulugeta.